Maybe you hate yourself a little bit because of that.Being in such a volatile and unhealthy relationship had really taken a toll on how I felt about myself. Hello 40’s: This might apply to any woman, married or divorced, but it’s hard to ignore the number 40.
Christian Rudder, president of Ok Cupid, is the guy who digs up the numbers from the millions of people using his free dating site. Women, on the other hand, prefer guys closer to their own age.In September, a study of 12,000 Finns reaffirmed what prior research had already established. If dudes were really so set on their caveman-era mating habits, wouldn't we see more single ladies over 30 home knitting tea cozies on Friday nights?One, that younger women are no longer interested in dating men who are even just slightly (3-5 years) older than them and sometimes want to date men 5-10 years younger then them. Alas, the women with whom he wants to get serious are 27-34.Two, women seem to be content in the fact that they are independent and self-sufficient and have a career, family and friends that fulfills them and don’t seem to be interested in truly finding a relationship. This gives men time to court, fall in love, travel together, move in, get engaged, and enjoy a few years of childless marriage before starting a family.It didn’t matter how skinny I was, I was the big 4-1.I was officially “middle aged” and in need of Botox and eye glass “readers.” Why would someone want me when they could have one of the million 30 year olds living in the city? I felt like a failure: I managed to screw up the most serious relationship I ever had. I couldn’t even manage to save my marriage for the sake of my two very young children. There’s a lot of guilt and self-hatred that goes with getting divorced.When i was recently separated, I was sitting around one night and I got a call from a friend of mine, asking me to meet her, her husband and “some of his work buddies” at a local bar. I walked out the door in a pair of jeans that I probably couldn’t get one leg into today, and a sleeveless top that showed off my slim (at the time) arms.My kids were on vacation with my ex, so I had no child care issues. When I walked into the bar, my friend came rushing over to me.I am told that women want to settle down and have kids, etc., but their actions seem to be to the contrary.At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men.